Changing For The Better and Worse!

Believe it or not??someone said that i'm changing..hahahaha...thought i'd never hear those words..but i just did...hehe...loving it...he said that i'm changing in a good way..wow!!my ears were like about to drop...but the fact is, they didn't..hahaha...

Before, i was like always, burning my head off for something so small, being mean and bossy, wanting this and that...and if i don't get what i want, surely i will burst into flames.....huhu..what a statement i've made...but since i got into a fight with wan which caused me to cry a river, i changed a bit...last time, he kept following what i asked him to do, he did those...but when it comes to me, i wouldn't do what he wanted me to...i am the exact opposite...and what i do, is exactly opposite of what he is asking me to...like for instance, he'll ask me to go home instead of just lazing around at the tennis court...but i surely wouldn't do that..he scolded me, asking me rudely....for sure i won't listen...i like doing what people don't want me too..when he scolded me, i felt like, why should i follow...huhh!

But when he gave me permission, i would definitely decline..hahahaha..how weird could i ever get...i've been asking the same question all over since i was a kid...

Now, he said that i'm changing...being a good girl...listening n understanding him well..i can't take on another fight...i hurts...huhu...he is so good to me..why couldn't i be more better than him..he is trying his best..but sometimes i couldn't just give him the chance...

I am having a splendid time now..got great friends...katak n kambing...hahahaha..katak keeps staying in her "longkang'...sleeping all day long...ask for kambing, i keep seeing her every single day..haha..kambing with her own world...learning to accept the fact about her world full of fantasy...katak with her world full of drain in her ears..hehe..but i surely miss her too...she makes us laugh all the time...

KAMBING!!

KATAK!!

My world of fantasy starts last year..and it will never end..i hope so...

Smakin Hari Smakin Membosankan n Frustrating

Knape stiap ari aku rse smakin bosan ngn idop aku kt University ni...I am way far behind on my studies...i feel tense all the time...dgn assignment belambak2...dgn tak paham pe yg lect tgh explain kt dpn 2...tmbah2 subject Akaun...knape dye bce je oe yg ade kt slide 2....klo stakat bce, aku pon leh bce...i need to understand what she is trying to teach..tp dye xbg paham pon...dye cuma bce n bg lthan..pndai2 kte la nk phm2kn sndry...susah!!!!!

Slain dr 2, aku slalu je tense...knape ye??ak asyk mrh2..mcm mne wan leh sabar ngn aku, aku pon tatau...but, i hope he could be patient with me..but, ari 2 jasmin ( min ) ade tgur aku dpn2 dye..she said, aku xptot mcm ni..sbb nt wan akn lari dr aku...wan pon sokong..why did he had to say maybe one day he will..made me feel unsecured n loosing hopes..i hope i won't keep my hopes too high on him..cause one day, he will definitely break me apart...n when that happens, everything bad comes into thoughts...

Sometimes i feel like i wanna go home..but home is more worse than here...nothing i can do but sleep all day..uhh, how can i say to everyone what i'm having..what kind of sickness i have..wan would be so sad...also my friends..i am happy now..but why my life is so short...i know everyone will leave one day..but why am i the earliest?i'll tell them one day..but not now..

Now, i wanna live my life...i know i can.but i need support for all that...before, i can do so well in my studies because i was so so so happy...now, i feel depress all the time...i wanna cry...but tears won't just come out...

HELL That i'm going through!!!

Today is the most hating day ever!!why can't i do what i want..when everyone else can do so..why can't i...my life really sucks..i hate this life...sometimes i even wonder, why did i ever have this life..why was i borned..if i'm not happy...i'm nothing..i'm useless..i hate this house!!i wanna get out of here...this is hell...before, i felt so happy..now, i feel as if i never exist...as if i'm a prisoner..ever since i'm a child, i wished that i could go away from here..i wanna live my life...i'm not some pet that should just stay here and doing nothing..i wanna be happy..i wanna meet my friends..why can't i meet them??is it a sin that i'm doing till i can't even meet them....BULLSHIT!!!I hate people controlling my stupid fucking life...i'm old enough to listen to myself..not following what others should say..I HATE UU!!!!!!!
I really need someone to tell to..i wanna throw my tears away..it's just a waste to cry for something so stupid...but my heart is breaking and breaking...until i feel like not coming back here anymore..i swear, when i get the chance, i would leave n never come back..I SWEAR!!!!!

Gloomy day...yet still happy!!

Well, i really am not sure why i keep having these not good feelings..hmm..it's a good thing i don't have my phone yet..i really don't wanna remember about it..huhh!...i need to go far...Far away from this busy place..i wanna be at peace..owh juz give me a break!..i wanna set my heart back straight...
i need my friends..i love them..huhu..they keep me warm all the time...i miss them...even my ex-best friends..huhu...even i have loads of new friends, i still think of them at times...I never did forget them..Hanis Shaheera n Waneh...i still couldn't believe they are my enemies now..but i love them too.. :'(..

 

 Both of them are my real bez fwenz....they are always there when i need them..Jasmin, well, she gave me loads of advices, taking care of me, be there when i need someone to hug n wipe my tears, keep me company, came finding for me when i went somewhere on my own to cry....everything..i could sure count on her...On the right is Fatin...she's also my good fwen..she keeps fighting with me..hahaha..it's really fun actually..she makes me laugh all the times...but, she also cares for me like jasmin..i miss u guys..i wanna go back to UiTM, so i can meet u guys..huhu..

This is Farah D...she is my most greatest friend in the whole wide universe...she has been there for me since we were in form 1...when i first saw her, i thought she was chinese.but actually, she's half malay n half chinese.But, 1 ting i could say, she's a great person to turn to when i need attention...she knows how to make me happy..been doing that since..well, we known each other pretty well...I LOVE U D!!!hehe..in a friend way..hahaha..

This is Shahrul..I call him kurosaky..don't really know why..haha..but one thing for sure, we both love anime so damn much..hehe..Even at times i forgot about him, he always remembers me..keep texting me, calling me so many times...i miss him now..he's far away..huhu..now, he's busy studying..but, i know he'll help me everytime i need him..he always cares about my everyday..keeps asking me hows my day..if anything wrong, i could just tell him..and he'll do anything to make me back to normal..I have faith in him...that he'll jump a building for me..huhu..now i miss u..i'm sorry for what had happened..i haven't been a good friend to him..i'll try my best to make it better..

well, this is ahmad ariff...people call him frodo..until now, i still don't know why..haha..but he's a good friend..he has been good to me for so long..hmm...there were so many memories of us..but we never actually met..haha..but i know he's a great guy...great friend..it's good to tell him my problems..cause, he'll say good things to make me all smothered inside..Once, we were so damn close..but after that, we became so silent..even the air were noisier..at that moment, i really missed him..i really want his oldself..but now, he's that old friend i've been looking for... :) ....sometimes, we are so near...we could meet each other..but, we haven't got the chance..i really hope someday i could meet him..have fun the whole day with him..i love our friendship..i really don't wanna loose it for anything...he'll be my friend till the end of the world..

These are my crazy cubemates...they always made me so happy n made my laughing all the times when we're in our room...they are the best cubemates anyone could ever have..we're like what's mine, is yours..what's yours is mine..haha...i sure hope we could be roommates on the nest sem..Jannah, is my first ever best friend i ever got at UiTM..she's the first person i've spoken to at that place..she's so nice..but sometimes, well, misunderstanding happen..that's normal..but, i still love her..I want her to be my friend forever..hope it'll happen..beside her is Imah...she's really funny..makes the room full of laughter..she seldom stays in the room..but when she's there, everything went Topsy-Turvy..hahaha..In front Jannah is Faizah..she's great..just so great..when i cry over something, she'll come and comfort me..when she cries, i'll be there to make her frown turn to smiles..i'm there for her, she's there for me..i know a lot about her that no one else knows..i love it when people believes me..she loves tickling me..disturbing me when i'm on the phone, when i wanna go to bed..huhu..but, i'll sure miss her next sem..there will be no more of these people i love.. :'(

These are My along n adeep...Woa, i sure miss them!!I felt really sorry to along.i never had the time to meet him..i promised him something..but never did i kept that promise..huhu..but i'll try meeting himbefore i go back to UiTM..i realy miss him..can't say no to that..

On the right is adeep..well, we've known since we were in form 2...i got into coral speaking..he was too...but we had a fight after that.then, i haven't spoken to him for years..i kept seeing hi with amira hanani...she was his girlfriend in the past..when i was in form 5, i keep seeing him infront of class 3Bestari..the class downstairs..well, i like disturbing him..haha...keep saying loads of nonsense..hehe..miss those days..he really changed at that time..he's really skinny.hehe..now, he way more different than before..he is now officially chubby..hahaha..but, he's still my friend that i care for...i know, people's lives are full of ups and downs...well, i'm sure, i'll be the person to give him faith and hopes.so he could be happy..i will never want my friends to have frown faces..huhu.

Out of all of these, i could say, that i love my friends..i'll tell you once and i'll tell u twice...i need my friends more than anyone else...i love u guys....don't you ever dare say you'll leave me..huhu..

I really love this song..love them so damn much!!

Pussycat dolls stick wit u

I really love u...i'll stick with you till my last breath!

Don't wanna keep my hopes high!!

Hey again...last night, was a blast..but, my feelings...well, it kinda went down the drain..my future might be here with him...or maybe not..he is willing to let me go far far away..and he might not come with me..he said, his family is here..well, why not take them with us..then, he said, his uncle, aunt, nephew, nice and a whole bunch of 'em live near by here..why should he go there..well, to live with me of course..duhh!..hmm, i got a feeling that we might not end up together...but i love him deeply...badly....all of that..if my father sets his mind of letting me go far for my studies, should i go??should i follow what he wanted me to do??well, it's for the better of my future..and i know that..but should i leave everything here and go..i know it's too early to think about this...but if i went too far on my relation with saffuwan, for sure i won't leave him...i really need him at times..but what can i really do..i need help..i now know that i shouldn't keep my hopes high on him...how to make it low??it is really hard to forget someone whom u really love and wants him to be u'r future husband..
i believe in Allah...if he is the one for me, then there is no regret..just go with it smoothly..if not, maybe there is someone else who could take care of me..Allah knows what's better for his creations...humans..but i really hope, that he is the one for me..please please please be mine...