Everything is Done...Darkness fills me!

Well, 15/4/2011......i told wan that i'm going home..to Penang...and when i reach there, we will be having this "time out" session..which is rehab..for our relation..i wanna rest...i couldn't take another hurtful scene..we just had a fight last Wednesday..wan said, he agrees to have this rehab..but he said, he'll sure miss me..hmm...he sent me to the train station..having his last look at me as the love of his life..that is the last day he called me "SYG"...after that, its no more..i cried while looking at him from the inside of the train..when the train moves, he kept following me until the last look..
when i came back here, we were as usual..meeting and stuff like that..we weren't able to suit ourselves in a situation where we are just friends.not more than that.i thought that i just wanna keep it until some time..not forever..but today, 18/4/2011, he said that maybe it's the best for us both..i thought about it that way too..but, it's not like i wanna break up forever..he said, that, he doesn't wanna see me cry for him again..he doesn't wanna have another fight again..he want's us to have a great life..being happy..he said he'll love me forever.but, it's impossible...because, i believe, that people's heart is not constant...it keeps changing and changing..peoples wants are never satisfied with what they have now..it's not like i am saying he's exactly like that..i am just saying that, one day, he'll have someone better..i'm just a spoiled brat..i love attention..but, i know now, that there is really no one that could really understand me..cause i'm different..i'm weird..i love being pampered..but now, i wouldn't feel being pampered..he could do it..only him..but it's no more. :'(...i love him..but i have to let it go now..he kept saying that he'll always be mine..but hopes shouldn't go high..it'll hurt me more someday.
How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we hide isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts
Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
THAT SOMEBODY'S ME!! <3~

Will I ever see him smile looking at me like this??