Of Course I Miss U Damn Much!

Hey peeps...mcm la aku ada reader..haha.that ain't a problem.I just love to express my feelings here where I couldn't anywhere else..hmm..It has been long since I've typed anything in this blog..Dusty all over..hehe.

Anyways, I've been through a rough Semester.Sampai benci tros sem nih.Felt like I wanna start over from the beginning.Start everything fresh like before.It has been hard for me to move on with my besties who are currently not in the same class as I am, and also my Sweetie dropping out of UiTM Arau.He's moving on to Selangor, studying there after he got the letter saying that he has been accepted for SPA.hmm..

Problems kept coming and coming without rests.First, after the accident I went through, I've just destroyed my ex-housemate's new bike.So me and the driver of the bike have to pay for damages.I tell ya, it wasn't cheap.500++ per person ok?!

Secondly, my health problems.I kept falling sick ever since I fell off that bike.Because of health issues, I skipped classes.

Thirdly, I really don't have that much friends..I mean, friends I have, but not really close.So, it's pretty hard to adapt with new ones.They are like groups kinda friends.So it ain't easy for people to take up new members into a group.Damn!.Whenever there's a group task, I have to find a group which I don't really know how to find.My close friends in the same class *actually not that close but ok lah*, couldn't just take me in that group in a snap.Because most assignments uses only 4 persons in a group.They already have 4 people.ADOI! Till now, it still is a pain in the ass.

Fourthly, I got a new room..Thank God, My room was on the last floor.So, no need to climb up the stairs.The problem isn't my new roomates.Nope.But, the types of roomates I have.They are really silent kinda people.The other one keeps blabbering about her BF who already has another GF.It makes her as the guy's Scandal.But she never gives a damn about it.I wan't my old crazy roomates back.They make me feel at home.But now I'm forcing myself to stay here, but deep down inside, I am very very very UNHAPPY!.

Lastly, I never hoped this day would come.But yes, he got accepted for SPA.Don't know what that stands for.But it's Hospital kinda thingy.It has been more than a week since I've seen him in the flesh.I am really not used to going classes without him, eating at the diner near my hostel and so much more.He usually calls me, just to make sure I wake up and get ready for class.At lunch time, he'd eat with me at 'APPLE' *name of the diner*, makes me wanna eat more 'till I'm bloated.Every evening, when we have a free time, we'd go to the tennis court.Just to spend some time together, away from hectic lives.We'd watch his friends shoot some hoops.For dinner, I usually eat at 'Kulat' *name of place*..I really love the porridge there.we'd eat and talk all night *well, I'm the one who talks the most, cause he loves to listen*.Oh yeah, I will never forget all the hard times I've been through and he struggles the hardest just to make me feel better.When I'm sick, he'd buy me food and makes sure I eat up most of it.He'd accompany me to the 'Unit Kesihatan' just to make sure I'm safe and well.He'd be there for me no matter what.So, it'll be pretty hard for me to go through my days without him.What am I capable of without him.He always asks me to do everything on my own, try living my days without his guidance.Because, he said that someday he won't be around to be there for me every time I need him.Well, i didn't listen.Now he got me thinking.

So, Tomorrow is New Year..I need to set my goals high..hopes higher.Cause I wanna be somebody one day.Please pray for me.I wanna start all over again.And forget the past..Know why??Cause We only have one life.So, better make the best of it..Or you'll lose..Thanks..See ya.

Oh yeah, down here are some pictures of people who matter to me.. =)

This is on Fatin's Birthday..What A blast.haha..(Fatin = Black Tudung)

These are My Besties..Min (Kmbing) & Fatin (Katak)..

This was on the day we went for Badminton..It was such fun playing on the tennis court.haha

 

This was on a crazy day.hehe.But fun near the gigantic 'Keris' in Perlis

This is Faizah, my roomate for the last 3 Semesters

 These are Jannah and Imah..They are crazy all the time..Hyper is what I meant.

These are my new classmates..Saidah & Zafi.

All of them are my new classmates.They are really nice.

  

Kami Sentiasa Besama No matter what...Cause of 3 simple words.

Hello n Good day everyone!~

It's been long since i've even written anything in here....a lot of things happened these few days...i've been busy with assignments which until now pretty much not completed yet...i have tests coming this way in a few days..oh my god..feels like i wanna pull my hair off...every single day is a frustrating day..no doubt about that..hmm...anyways, i have lots to tell...only one particular thing made me feel like i should tell..


ladies, don't give 100% trust on your boyfriend or whatever...it hurts when the names that u should be called by him is also a name he gave to another person..for instance he calls u sayang....suddenly, u found out that he has been calling another girl the same name..that should be your special name..why should he give it away that easy..and would you stand the heat when he says he misses her too???uhh!!!it burns me to even write this entry...it hurts...and i bet that boys don't even know what it feels...cause their heart is as cold as ice...i am not sure about some boys..but most of them who are young like us may have this kind of habit...i am just giving a fair warning and telling that there is no need to believe every word they are saying..just take 50% out of it..

nk ckp mlayu plak lah...hmm....seseowg yg ak pcya did this..to yg ak nk cta cket...cian pmpuan 2...pnya lah jga hbungan 2, tetiba kntoi kt fb...the girl bce msges dlm fb laki 2....laki 2 bleh siap ckp psal rndu2 lg..ada pulak ckp kt nomad 2 cm ni " sy je rndu xde effect la "...ooo, kra nk nomad 2 miss u too la ye??ha, p la kt dia!..then, bla nomad 2 ckp " hbs 2 npe snyap je"...laki 2 blas blik, " fon i ilang la SAYANG"....what is that shit?!!mmg pmpuan 2 burning2 la...bleh lak ckp cm 2 kn??hmm..tatau la nk ckp pa dh psai laki ni..nk ckp lbey2, kna sound free....mlas nk bahas ngn dye.nasihat utk the girl, ttop la hp wt smentara n calm u'r mind..find other better thing to do..mmg la trkjud ble girl 2 cte ni kt ak...dlu diorg happy kowt...bhgia je..kemana ada aku, disitu ada hang la ktakn dpa nih...sweet, smua ada...skrg da npk cm sour da..i don't want anyone to feel that way..single sometimes is better...but i understand that every girl likes being adored and loved by their love ones..they feel secured...but boys, please change u'r attitude..wlau cntik mna pon pmpuan lain, jgn la dok mnggatai...klo ska mnggtai, tapayah la declare "COUPLE"....buat owg lain skt ati ja..KOMPRENDO???...i really hate these kind of boys...they could kiss my ass n leave my misery yet stupid life...I HATE U!....thanks...

My Baby!!! huhuhu...

Jumaat lpas exactly on 20th May, aku bwu nk balik Penang dr Arau...sblom balik, ak ngn dia singgah Alor Star nk tgk movie...NUR KASIH WEH!tp xjd tgk cte 2 sbb sold out da...jd kmi tgk cte kongsi..Sumpah lawak!tp xbez sbb cta tadak arah tuju..

hmm....kmi ingt balik 2 nk naik bas ja..p shahab...but then, kuaq2 2, npk la teksi saga lama yg brwana merah...*ting!!trasa nk naik teksi ja p shahab..msti jap ja smpai..da dok rushing da nih...kmi pon naik laaa...dlm teksi, dok gebang ngn pkcik tua 2..dia ja la yg sembang..ak dok blakang dok sengap ja..xckp spatah pon..gelak n snyum ja..sblom gebang, ak bok kuaq fon dr dlm beg..ingt nk kol mak ak, hbaq kata ak nk blik da..dh dok khusyuk dgq pkcik 2 dok crita, ak ltak fon kt tepi ak sat..tgn ak lenguh...ak owg pling cuai didunia beb!tgh dok turun teksi 2, ak amk plastik kt sblah ak 2, lupa nk amk bnda yg pling pnting..MY BABY XPERIA!!boleh lak ak trtnggal dlm 2..mla2 ak xsedaq lg..ak mmg ingt fon ak dlm beg..da smpai penang, turun2 bas, ak dok sowg kt tmpat duduk sna..tgu dia hbs solat..msa dok tgu 2, ak nk amk fon nk kol mak ak..puaih ak slongkaq beg ak..dok xjmpak gak...ak cm nk ngs dah msa 2..ak tgu dia mai nk tnya kot2 ada kt dia..da dia smpai, ak tnya..dia ckp tadak..ak da mnitiskn air mta dah..dia amk fon dia n try kol...ak p la cri blik dlm bas 2..xdgaq bnyi pon...usaha ak cri ats ngn bwh..xnpk gak...turun2 2, ak da moody da..ak kol bnyk2 kli, tadak owg angkt..mknanya fon ak masih slamat...ak blik dgn mka masam mncuka...tgl dia kt sna..dia da nk blik da naik bas p jauh...ak jln tros ja, xtgk ats pon..tgk lntai ja..dlm ati dok risau..da abg ak smpai, ak gtau dia..mmg kna ceramah free la..penat tlinga ak..mcm nk mletop ja.da smpai umh, ak hbaq kt mak ak lak..ak amk fon dia..mnghrap yg ada owg angkt..tp tadak gak...still ringing..so, smpai mlm, still slamat la..

Dua ari brturut2 ak ulang aling dr penang ke alor star..dgn harapan yg tnggi smpai ke langit..dlm msa dua ari 2, ak dpt tau nma, nmber plate n umh dia tang mna ja..dia tadak umh.cday!...kwn2 ak tlg gak...but i gave my all for my baby xperia!!mlm2 ak xdpt tdoq, asyk mmpi baby ak 2 ja..mkn pon ak xlalu...tdoq pon xlena..miserable...ak risau!..mcm ank ak lak xperia 2..haha.mmg ak syg gila la..ak beli sndry n xmnghrapkn sapa2...my own money..my own effort...

Smlm which is on the 23rd May, kwn ak gtau yg dye da dpt nmber fon pkcik 2...agak lega la ak..happy gla!.dia tlg ak wlaupon kmi tadak papa dh..but still, there's a catch of what he is doing..da dpt nmber 2, tros ak kol pkcik 2..bini dia angkt..pkcik 2 pon ckp gak ngn ak..he told me the whole thing..Oh, how thankful i was...sbb dia simpan dgn elok baby ak 2...but, ak kena sabaq smpai 5 June..sbb time 2 bwu pkcik 2 balik dr KL ke sini..ptot la ak p tgu kt sna, dia tadak..upanaya dia da p jauh..xsngka, there is a person as grateful as he is...ak brsyukur sngt ak naik teksi dia n bkn teksi lain..teksi lain, rsanya mmg baby ak lesap troih r..xpa nt ak leh brtemu kmbali ngn baby mnja ak 2!....

BABY XPERIA!!! COME TO MOMMA!

Everything is Done...Darkness fills me!

Well, 15/4/2011......i told wan that i'm going home..to Penang...and when i reach there, we will be having this "time out" session..which is rehab..for our relation..i wanna rest...i couldn't take another hurtful scene..we just had a fight last Wednesday..wan said, he agrees to have this rehab..but he said, he'll sure miss me..hmm...he sent me to the train station..having his last look at me as the love of his life..that is the last day he called me "SYG"...after that, its no more..i cried while looking at him from the inside of the train..when the train moves, he kept following me until the last look..
when i came back here, we were as usual..meeting and stuff like that..we weren't able to suit ourselves in a situation where we are just friends.not more than that.i thought that i just wanna keep it until some time..not forever..but today, 18/4/2011, he said that maybe it's the best for us both..i thought about it that way too..but, it's not like i wanna break up forever..he said, that, he doesn't wanna see me cry for him again..he doesn't wanna have another fight again..he want's us to have a great life..being happy..he said he'll love me forever.but, it's impossible...because, i believe, that people's heart is not constant...it keeps changing and changing..peoples wants are never satisfied with what they have now..it's not like i am saying he's exactly like that..i am just saying that, one day, he'll have someone better..i'm just a spoiled brat..i love attention..but, i know now, that there is really no one that could really understand me..cause i'm different..i'm weird..i love being pampered..but now, i wouldn't feel being pampered..he could do it..only him..but it's no more. :'(...i love him..but i have to let it go now..he kept saying that he'll always be mine..but hopes shouldn't go high..it'll hurt me more someday.
How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we hide isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts
Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
THAT SOMEBODY'S ME!! <3~

Will I ever see him smile looking at me like this??

I'm not single!!...No Bulshits please

My entry this time wouldn't be about me..hehe...it's about a person i know..and wanting me so..I'll tell it in BM then to make it clearer..

Nk gtau nih....klau la korg ade awek/pkwe dah, jgn dok temberang habaq kata xdak...n dok mtk awek/pkwe org lain...mncuri nmenye...tau x kesan bila hmpa dok kata xdak awek/pkwe kt owg lain...2 tnda korg xsyg psangan korg 2..n 1 lg, korg mnipu psangan korg 2..pnah xrsa bla psangan korg 2 ckp cm 2 kt owg lain..korg rse pe??skt ati x??

Lg 1, bla korg dok mngaku bnda yg sbaliknya, nt cm na klo owg lain 2 trima korg..korg nk amik diorg jd awek/pkwe korg ke x??then tinggal psangan korg 2..nk jd play ke??please lah....stia lh pd yg 1..jgn main2 tukar psangan..korg xkn bhgia..ingt la, bla korg wt skali je cm 2, brkali2 owg lain akn wt cm 2 kt korg..kna batang idong sndry bwu nk nyesal ke?pantang btol ak ngn owg2 yg cm ni...hmph!

Oh ye, jgn dok pndai2 mnggatai ngn pmpuan/laki lain klo awek/pkwe sndry xtrjga..ingt pe yg korg bg kt psangan korg 2 dh ckop ke??klo stakat ckp "i love u", aku pon leh ckp kt nenek aku..cbe lh beri kesetiaan n make psangan korg 2 rse secured...selamat je ble ngn korg...tapayah la jd bodyguard sejati...2 trlalu over...

Lg 1 crita, jgn bg psangan korg simpan nmber ex2 diorg...mmg
la kte leh ckp xde pape...but, manusia sering brubah..ble2 mse je leh ade prktaan ter- kt dpn stiap ayat...trsuka, trjtoh cnta, trcpel blik, smua ter-...bla kte xbg diorg simpan nmber ex diorg, nt diorg ckp kte xcyekn diorg..then, kte nk kne ckp "simpan je lh nmber ex 2", "bg lh nmber bru ni kt ex."...sape lh kte nk mnghalang..tp klo la kte ckp cm 2, kte BODOH!!mmg bangang sngt2...of course kta pcyakn psangan kta...but kta cma xpcyakn ati yg kdg2 xtetap...cause kta msih blom ada ikatan yg mngatakan "dye aku pnya"..so, no way i will ever say i'll give the permission..korg pon sme..

Changing For The Better and Worse!

Believe it or not??someone said that i'm changing..hahahaha...thought i'd never hear those words..but i just did...hehe...loving it...he said that i'm changing in a good way..wow!!my ears were like about to drop...but the fact is, they didn't..hahaha...

Before, i was like always, burning my head off for something so small, being mean and bossy, wanting this and that...and if i don't get what i want, surely i will burst into flames.....huhu..what a statement i've made...but since i got into a fight with wan which caused me to cry a river, i changed a bit...last time, he kept following what i asked him to do, he did those...but when it comes to me, i wouldn't do what he wanted me to...i am the exact opposite...and what i do, is exactly opposite of what he is asking me to...like for instance, he'll ask me to go home instead of just lazing around at the tennis court...but i surely wouldn't do that..he scolded me, asking me rudely....for sure i won't listen...i like doing what people don't want me too..when he scolded me, i felt like, why should i follow...huhh!

But when he gave me permission, i would definitely decline..hahahaha..how weird could i ever get...i've been asking the same question all over since i was a kid...

Now, he said that i'm changing...being a good girl...listening n understanding him well..i can't take on another fight...i hurts...huhu...he is so good to me..why couldn't i be more better than him..he is trying his best..but sometimes i couldn't just give him the chance...

I am having a splendid time now..got great friends...katak n kambing...hahahaha..katak keeps staying in her "longkang'...sleeping all day long...ask for kambing, i keep seeing her every single day..haha..kambing with her own world...learning to accept the fact about her world full of fantasy...katak with her world full of drain in her ears..hehe..but i surely miss her too...she makes us laugh all the time...

KAMBING!!

KATAK!!

My world of fantasy starts last year..and it will never end..i hope so...

Smakin Hari Smakin Membosankan n Frustrating

Knape stiap ari aku rse smakin bosan ngn idop aku kt University ni...I am way far behind on my studies...i feel tense all the time...dgn assignment belambak2...dgn tak paham pe yg lect tgh explain kt dpn 2...tmbah2 subject Akaun...knape dye bce je oe yg ade kt slide 2....klo stakat bce, aku pon leh bce...i need to understand what she is trying to teach..tp dye xbg paham pon...dye cuma bce n bg lthan..pndai2 kte la nk phm2kn sndry...susah!!!!!

Slain dr 2, aku slalu je tense...knape ye??ak asyk mrh2..mcm mne wan leh sabar ngn aku, aku pon tatau...but, i hope he could be patient with me..but, ari 2 jasmin ( min ) ade tgur aku dpn2 dye..she said, aku xptot mcm ni..sbb nt wan akn lari dr aku...wan pon sokong..why did he had to say maybe one day he will..made me feel unsecured n loosing hopes..i hope i won't keep my hopes too high on him..cause one day, he will definitely break me apart...n when that happens, everything bad comes into thoughts...

Sometimes i feel like i wanna go home..but home is more worse than here...nothing i can do but sleep all day..uhh, how can i say to everyone what i'm having..what kind of sickness i have..wan would be so sad...also my friends..i am happy now..but why my life is so short...i know everyone will leave one day..but why am i the earliest?i'll tell them one day..but not now..

Now, i wanna live my life...i know i can.but i need support for all that...before, i can do so well in my studies because i was so so so happy...now, i feel depress all the time...i wanna cry...but tears won't just come out...