Bubbles

Thursday, December 23, 2010

HELL That i'm going through!!!

Today is the most hating day ever!!why can't i do what i want..when everyone else can do so..why can't i...my life really sucks..i hate this life...sometimes i even wonder, why did i ever have this life..why was i borned..if i'm not happy...i'm nothing..i'm useless..i hate this house!!i wanna get out of here...this is hell...before, i felt so happy..now, i feel as if i never exist...as if i'm a prisoner..ever since i'm a child, i wished that i could go away from here..i wanna live my life...i'm not some pet that should just stay here and doing nothing..i wanna be happy..i wanna meet my friends..why can't i meet them??is it a sin that i'm doing till i can't even meet them....BULLSHIT!!!I hate people controlling my stupid fucking life...i'm old enough to listen to myself..not following what others should say..I HATE UU!!!!!!!
I really need someone to tell to..i wanna throw my tears away..it's just a waste to cry for something so stupid...but my heart is breaking and breaking...until i feel like not coming back here anymore..i swear, when i get the chance, i would leave n never come back..I SWEAR!!!!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Gloomy day...yet still happy!!

Well, i really am not sure why i keep having these not good feelings..hmm..it's a good thing i don't have my phone yet..i really don't wanna remember about it..huhh!...i need to go far...Far away from this busy place..i wanna be at peace..owh juz give me a break!..i wanna set my heart back straight...
i need my friends..i love them..huhu..they keep me warm all the time...i miss them...even my ex-best friends..huhu...even i have loads of new friends, i still think of them at times...I never did forget them..Hanis Shaheera n Waneh...i still couldn't believe they are my enemies now..but i love them too.. :'(..
 
 Both of them are my real bez fwenz....they are always there when i need them..Jasmin, well, she gave me loads of advices, taking care of me, be there when i need someone to hug n wipe my tears, keep me company, came finding for me when i went somewhere on my own to cry....everything..i could sure count on her...On the right is Fatin...she's also my good fwen..she keeps fighting with me..hahaha..it's really fun actually..she makes me laugh all the times...but, she also cares for me like jasmin..i miss u guys..i wanna go back to UiTM, so i can meet u guys..huhu..

This is Farah D...she is my most greatest friend in the whole wide universe...she has been there for me since we were in form 1...when i first saw her, i thought she was chinese.but actually, she's half malay n half chinese.But, 1 ting i could say, she's a great person to turn to when i need attention...she knows how to make me happy..been doing that since..well, we known each other pretty well...I LOVE U D!!!hehe..in a friend way..hahaha..
This is Shahrul..I call him kurosaky..don't really know why..haha..but one thing for sure, we both love anime so damn much..hehe..Even at times i forgot about him, he always remembers me..keep texting me, calling me so many times...i miss him now..he's far away..huhu..now, he's busy studying..but, i know he'll help me everytime i need him..he always cares about my everyday..keeps asking me hows my day..if anything wrong, i could just tell him..and he'll do anything to make me back to normal..I have faith in him...that he'll jump a building for me..huhu..now i miss u..i'm sorry for what had happened..i haven't been a good friend to him..i'll try my best to make it better..
well, this is ahmad ariff...people call him frodo..until now, i still don't know why..haha..but he's a good friend..he has been good to me for so long..hmm...there were so many memories of us..but we never actually met..haha..but i know he's a great guy...great friend..it's good to tell him my problems..cause, he'll say good things to make me all smothered inside..Once, we were so damn close..but after that, we became so silent..even the air were noisier..at that moment, i really missed him..i really want his oldself..but now, he's that old friend i've been looking for... :) ....sometimes, we are so near...we could meet each other..but, we haven't got the chance..i really hope someday i could meet him..have fun the whole day with him..i love our friendship..i really don't wanna loose it for anything...he'll be my friend till the end of the world..
These are my crazy cubemates...they always made me so happy n made my laughing all the times when we're in our room...they are the best cubemates anyone could ever have..we're like what's mine, is yours..what's yours is mine..haha...i sure hope we could be roommates on the nest sem..Jannah, is my first ever best friend i ever got at UiTM..she's the first person i've spoken to at that place..she's so nice..but sometimes, well, misunderstanding happen..that's normal..but, i still love her..I want her to be my friend forever..hope it'll happen..beside her is Imah...she's really funny..makes the room full of laughter..she seldom stays in the room..but when she's there, everything went Topsy-Turvy..hahaha..In front Jannah is Faizah..she's great..just so great..when i cry over something, she'll come and comfort me..when she cries, i'll be there to make her frown turn to smiles..i'm there for her, she's there for me..i know a lot about her that no one else knows..i love it when people believes me..she loves tickling me..disturbing me when i'm on the phone, when i wanna go to bed..huhu..but, i'll sure miss her next sem..there will be no more of these people i love.. :'(

These are My along n adeep...Woa, i sure miss them!!I felt really sorry to along.i never had the time to meet him..i promised him something..but never did i kept that promise..huhu..but i'll try meeting himbefore i go back to UiTM..i realy miss him..can't say no to that..
On the right is adeep..well, we've known since we were in form 2...i got into coral speaking..he was too...but we had a fight after that.then, i haven't spoken to him for years..i kept seeing hi with amira hanani...she was his girlfriend in the past..when i was in form 5, i keep seeing him infront of class 3Bestari..the class downstairs..well, i like disturbing him..haha...keep saying loads of nonsense..hehe..miss those days..he really changed at that time..he's really skinny.hehe..now, he way more different than before..he is now officially chubby..hahaha..but, he's still my friend that i care for...i know, people's lives are full of ups and downs...well, i'm sure, i'll be the person to give him faith and hopes.so he could be happy..i will never want my friends to have frown faces..huhu.

Out of all of these, i could say, that i love my friends..i'll tell you once and i'll tell u twice...i need my friends more than anyone else...i love u guys....don't you ever dare say you'll leave me..huhu..

Tuesday, December 14, 2010



I really love this song..love them so damn much!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Pussycat dolls stick wit u


I really love u...i'll stick with you till my last breath!

Don't wanna keep my hopes high!!

Hey again...last night, was a blast..but, my feelings...well, it kinda went down the drain..my future might be here with him...or maybe not..he is willing to let me go far far away..and he might not come with me..he said, his family is here..well, why not take them with us..then, he said, his uncle, aunt, nephew, nice and a whole bunch of 'em live near by here..why should he go there..well, to live with me of course..duhh!..hmm, i got a feeling that we might not end up together...but i love him deeply...badly....all of that..if my father sets his mind of letting me go far for my studies, should i go??should i follow what he wanted me to do??well, it's for the better of my future..and i know that..but should i leave everything here and go..i know it's too early to think about this...but if i went too far on my relation with saffuwan, for sure i won't leave him...i really need him at times..but what can i really do..i need help..i now know that i shouldn't keep my hopes high on him...how to make it low??it is really hard to forget someone whom u really love and wants him to be u'r future husband..
i believe in Allah...if he is the one for me, then there is no regret..just go with it smoothly..if not, maybe there is someone else who could take care of me..Allah knows what's better for his creations...humans..but i really hope, that he is the one for me..please please please be mine...

Sunday, December 5, 2010


On 11th July at 1.15 a.m, he is mine forever..at first, i just wanted to try him out..not liking him that much..he really looks like my ex....well, at first meeting him at mushroom CC, i was quite shy..i was like, what should i say..haha..baru 2 mgu kt uitm, da jtoh cinta..of course impossible..i know my aim..i need to study..not falling in love..i broke my own heart for the millionth time..i don't want this to ruin my life..
anyways, kmi pnah break skali..hari isnin..excatly lpas dye balik uitm dr umh..he went out with his friends..p mkn..mla2, elok ja kmi ckp..lwak2 smua..then, ak ckp ak nk g mndy..dye ckp ok la ape la...ok je...then, pas mndy, ak msg dye blik...dye ckp there's something he has to say..dye xpgl ak cm slalu da..it's like kmi da xdk apa2..knpa??he said, we didn't know each other well lg..kmi bru knal..dlu msa cpel, ak da ckp bnda ni..dye ckp xpa..msa brcnta leh knal..skrg apa crita, ak xtau..tiba2 ja..skt ati tol..ak xska owg mtk break..kcuali ak yg mtk..huhh!...
kmi break da hmpir sminggu..ak dh la sma klas ngn dye stiap slasa, rabu ngn jumaat...bla dgr je suara dye dlm klas, ak cm nk muntah..mluat tol..ak post mcm2 kt wall ak dlm FB..1 ari, jannah my cube-mate tnya ak sesuatu..ak ckp la pe dye..dye tnya ak, dlu ak cm na??ada x ak bg gmbr bukan2, gmbr ak la kt ex ak atau sape2...ak syak, msti dak skolah ak yg ckp bukan2 psal ak..ak crita hbs kt jannah..smua skali..dye ckp, sbnrnye wan tnye dye smue ni..of course la jannah xleh back up ak..dye xtau anything about me..tp ak skt ati la.ak da tau sbb pe kmi break..why did he had to lie..just tell me the truth and ask me..dye ptotnya gtau ak bnda ni..knpa prlu bohong n sorok...dye tnye owg yg xtau, of course la xkn settle bnda nih..aduuh..ak geram, then ak gtau kwn2 ak kt FB..wan bce..then, he straight away call me..dye tnye btol ke pe yg ak ckp kt wall 2..wt pe ak nk tipu..kwn ak ada skali leh jd saksi..fitnah bodoh dak skolah ak yg dengki2 wt..bnci ak..then, kmi ckp elok2 blik...kmi cpel blik in a funny way..haha..ak just playing around je ngn dye..at first ak xserious lgsong...lme kelamaan, ak da smakin jtoh ati kt dye..Oh My God!!dye pon sbnrnye 2x5 je ngn ak..mla2 nk main ja..lma2, cinta btol..
i Love him..i don't wanna loose him..after what we have been through...he is now my everything..tp, 3 mlm lpas, dye ada ckp something kt ak..ak serious tnye soalan 2...dye jwb nth serious ke main2...ak skt ati..mybe he didn't notice that my heart is breaking..psal 2 la ak lain cket ngn dye skrg..ak tkot nk lbh2..ak tkot nk trlalu brhrap...what if he is not meant for me..of course dye leh ckp dye serious ngn ak..but i'm afraid, one day he'll leave me just like that for another girl..now, he'll say he will never leave me..but what if i cant give him something that he really wants in future..he said he'll find another..he said it himself..wel that is the thing bothering me now..i really don't want that to happen..so i'll stay low..i won't keep my hopes high..cause he'll leave me anytime...i'm afraid of losing him..i don't know what will happen if he does..i need him..at the same time i'm hurting...i've been thinking...hmmm....